Anna's Real Killer
by Piro the Renagade writer
Summary: Kratos reveals who really killed Anna. ONESHOT


Hey guys!

Now I know what you're thinking. You're thinking either "OH BOY! I CAN'T WAIT TO READ SOME PIRO FANFICS!" or "MAH BOI! This Piro fanfic is what all true readers strive for!" Or you're just thinking you're bored and you decided to read this.

Anyway, I replayed ToS recently and ran into a bunch of new material. This might be one of many of what I like to call "Tales of Symfunnya" fics. Anyway, on with the show! (Been a while since I said that!)

**Anna's True Killer**

Kratos, the mercenary/traitor in a skintight purple jumpsuit, was standing next to Lloyd Irving, his son with two swords and mostly red attire. They were both staring at the city of Flanoir in the dead of the night, with snow falling on their heads and shoulders. Kratos had just gotten through greeting himself to Lloyd so as not to startle him.

"…Lloyd," Kratos said in a serious tone after a straight minute of silence, "I must confess that what you have been hearing is not true. I did not kill Anna…"

"What do you mean?" Lloyd whispered, "I thought she was turned into a monster and you had no choice…"

"She was never turned into a monster. She was severely injured from the fall, but she wasn't dead. I planned to take her into Iselia or to Dirk to help her in the healing process. But then…they came."

Lloyd could not mistake the tone in his father's voice: It was the same he spoke in when he told Kvar to not speak ill of the dead. Kratos stared intensively at the railing for a minute or two.

"Was it the Desians?" Lloyd blurted out.

"No…No it was an underground organization. One of which Cruxis has only recently discovered. They have a much more sinister plot on their minds."

Kratos sighed loudly, his cold breath visible in the freezing temperatures.

"It was the penguinists."

Lloyd looked dumbstruck for an minute, then, despite the mood, laughed his head off in the night. He laughed so hard, Kratos was surprised the others had yet to come outside to see what all the fuss was about.

"Pe-Pe-Penguinists?! BAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!!!"

"This isn't funny Lloyd! Hear me out!" Kratos yelled at his son.

"O-okay!" Lloyd straightened up and stared at his father, a small grin still plastered on his face.

Kratos sighed, "It was a cold day…unusually cold for the time of year. At the time I did not know why, all I did know was that I needed to get Anna somewhere safe, but as soon as I dared to move her…they came. At least fifty of them, all with snowballs in their hands. From the look on their faces, I knew they meant murder. The first one thrown at me I blocked with my sword, but five or so of them knocked me down and held me to the ground. I watched hopelessly as Anna was pelted with snowballs, coming from every direction, each of them hitting at breakneck speed in very vital areas. Eventually, she stopped moving, and the Penguinists around me knocked my unconscious with the hilt of my own sword."

Lloyd was no longer smiling, but staring at his father in silent shock. He knew now that this was no made up story; this was the real thing. Kratos looked back up.

"I woke up on the distant outskirts of Flanoir, my money gone, and my sword broken into several pieces. Luckily, I knew the inn manager, and he let me have a free room. But on that day, I swore revenge on the Penguinists, no matter the cost."

Lloyd stopped trying to be tough and began to break down sobbing. Kratos could only watch as his son broke down before him.

Lloyd eventually stopped sobbing and looked at Kratos with sparks in his eyes, "Let's go now! Where do they keep their secret base?"

"Somewhere East of the Ice Temple. Don't you think we should wake the others and tell them what we are planning to do?"

"No," said Lloyd, looking aggravated at the fact that they were still in Flanoir, "They'll only get in the way. We need to do this alone!"

"Fine," Kratos said with equal determination, "Let's go."

In five minutes they were both on a rheiard headed northeast of Flanoir.

"There!" Kratos shouted through the blisteringly cold and high winds, and pointed down to a small fissure in the ice and snow. Lloyd dived immediately, Kratos falling in behind. As soon as they landed, the jumped off and ran straight into the enemy stronghold.

"Hi! Welcome to Penguinist village, where it's cooler than co-AAAUUUGH!" the nearest Penguinist was hacked to pieces by Kratos' blade, and the next one, standing next to a shop, had his arm chopped off by Lloyd and was beaten to a bloody pulp with it. Soon a few snowballs were thrown in Lloyd and Kratos' general direction, but were blocked as Kratos jumped on the next one and sliced it right down the middle.

"Remember Lloyd! Every Penguinist slaughtered is a victory for Anna's soul!"

The one-sided struggle went on as the nearest Penguinist was dragged to an icy sidewalk where Kratos curb stomped his head. Lloyd, meanwhile, was throwing multiple Penguinists off a nearby roof and into a dumpster.

Soon the slaughter reached all the way to the highest house in the so-called "stronghold." Kratos kicked open the door and marched through the lobby, slashing at penguinists all the way. Eventually, they reached the mayor's staff room.

The mayor of the Penguinist town, clad in a top hat and monocle (shut up), had been writing out a form to be sent to Meltokio when he heard the door burst open. He looked up and saw Lloyd and Kratos standing in his smashed doorway.

"Hello gentlemen!" the Mayor shouted proudly, opening his arms, "Let me welcome you to our fi-HOLY SHIT ON AN ICICLE!!!" The Mayor had seen the slaughter and destruction behind the two swordsmen and was rendered speechless. His only words were "You bastards!" before taking out a pair of nunchucks made of icicles. How they survived for this long without melting, or else breaking is beyond me.

Lloyd and Kratos ran up simultaneously and slashed at the mayor. They mayor blocked the blows and slid on the icy floor to trip up Kratos and Lloyd and get behind them. Lloyd flipped in the air and delivered a slash to the mayor's shoulder. The mayor stood upright and looked at the gash on his shoulder, and then he wiped some blood off of it and put it under his eyelids to give him a sort of warrior penguin style. (I swear if I see any comments regarding a penguin/Rambo hybrid, I will jump off of a bridge).

Kratos ran forward and hit the mayor in the gut with the hilt of his sword, and unsheathed it a quarter of a second later, while yelling out "BEAST!" as a mighty beast head erupted from the blade. The mayor blocked it however, and delivered many bitter cold icicle nunchuck slaps to Kratos's face and torso. Lloyd, meanwhile, had equipped the Garnet, the jewel he had received from Efreet, to give his blades the power of flames. He charged at the mayor, but the latter saw it coming and attempted to block Lloyd with one of his icicles. However his face fell after he saw that his nunchucks had completely melted. The mayor let out a mighty yell. Not only had his only defense been slaughtered, but now his only weapon had melted.

"KILL ME!!!!"

Lloyd obliged too happily and chopped off the head of the mayor. The force from the slash caused the severed head to fly into the wall, where it caused vibration all along the wall and ceiling, making a small icicle fall from the ceiling and hit Kratos in the head.

Kratos shook his head for a bit and looked around. "Lloyd," he said after looking down at the mayor's bloody remains, "what happened here?"

"We avenged her dad," Lloyd said out of breath, but with a smile plastered on, "we avenged mom."

Kratos looked confused. "But Lloyd," Kratos said, "I killed Anna. She turned into a monster. I thought you knew?"

Lloyd looked at his father for a few seconds, with a VERY confused look on his face. "Dad," Lloyd started simply, "why did you tell me the penguinists did it?"

"I never-…OH!" Kratos' eyes widened and he checked his pockets for something. In his hands was an empty Flanoir potion bottle. "I must have had too much potion. Sorry about that Lloyd. Don't drink." Kratos then blasted a hole through the ceiling and flew off into the snowy evening.

Lloyd returned to Flanoir before the others woke up, and waited at the Inn entrance. Soon, everyone woke up and saw Lloyd, at the entrance, bloodstained and winded.

"Lloyd!" It was Sheena. She seemed to wake up before everyone else…Well except Regal, but he's a freak of nature…4 in the morning…

"Lloyd what happened?!" Sheena sounded concerned as Lloyd looked around at her. He only said four words.

"I need a potion."

**END**

This is what happens when you watch too much Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz. Don't worry. This one is just violent for the sake of violent humor. R&R


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